Mommy Needs Jesus

Some days I find myself asking a question I do not always want the answer to.

Do I trust God,
or do I trust God to do what I asked?

As a mom, it is easy to blur the line. We pray for our kids, our marriages, our energy, our finances, our healing. We pray for sleep. For peace. For things to feel lighter. And when they do not, disappointment can settle in quietly.

There was a season when the song Even If by MercyMe made me uncomfortable. I did not want to sing the words. I wanted God to do what I was asking. The “even if” felt like too much surrender.

Then one night, I woke up with the lyrics looping through my head. Not loudly. Gently. Like an invitation.

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

Even if You don’t.

Even if You do not fix the thing I am carrying.
Even if You do not change the situation right away.
Even if You are quieter than I hoped.

Still, my hope is You.

I am learning that trusting God and trusting Him to do what I asked are not the same thing. That realization has been both humbling and freeing.

When I trust God, I remember who He is.
That He is good, even on hard days.
That He is in control, even when I feel overwhelmed.
That His ways are better, even when I do not understand.
That He is God, and I am not.

But when I trust Him mainly for the outcome, my heart feels different. I notice frustration when prayers feel unanswered. I feel the urge to take control. I realize how quickly surrender can turn into striving.

And so I have been asking myself this, one day at a time.
Is my hope in God, or in what I want Him to do for me?

Another song has become a quiet prayer for me. More Than Anything by Natalie Grant puts words to what my heart needs:

Help me want the Healer more than the healing
Help me want the Savior more than the saving
Help me want the Giver more than the giving
Oh help me want You, Jesus, more than anything

That is the prayer I keep coming back to. Not because I have mastered it, but because I need it. Especially in motherhood, where so much feels out of my control.

So if you are tired, waiting, or quietly disappointed today, I want to ask you gently.
Are you seeking God’s hand, or are you seeking God Himself?

He invites us to seek Him.
And He promises to take care of us, one day at a time.

A simple practice for today

You do not need a lot of time or a quiet house for this. Just a moment of honesty. Fill in the blanks with a truth for yourself.

I know You are able to:

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But even if You don’t, You are still:

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A prayer for today

Jesus,
You see me in the middle of this season.
You know what I am asking for and why it matters to me.

Help me trust You, not just for what You can do,
but for who You are.

When I feel disappointed, remind me that You are still good.
When I want control, help me open my hands.
When answers feel slow or different than I hoped,
help me lift my eyes back to You.

Even if You don’t,
help my hope remain in You alone.

Amen.

One day at a time.
Lifting our eyes.
Choosing to trust Him, even when we don’t understand.